The Book of Ten Sayings 9

Number 9 in the Book of Ten Sayings reminds us that developing, building, and caring for human relationships are our primary responsibilities here on this planet. Several sayings stimulate our memories or touch around the margins, but the one that singularly hits home is,

Always forgive, including yourself.

We have landed in such a bizarre landscape that we don't know how to react to others, especially when the insults and criticism by which they have wronged us seem so arbitrary, ill informed, and exaggerated. The Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," sometimes requires some translating from the 17th Century English of the King James Version; but a plain text translation nearly always puts the postmodern and the simple into an understanding, if not agreeing, frame of mind. But this Saying 9 goes further. 

The true and deep reminder implied in this Saying is that we should spend our lives in service to others, enhancing the lives of others and leaving all of them just a little better than we found them. These acts of charity can be small and brief, (pick up a piece of litter and toss it into a trash can, smile warmly and say  hello to a stranger,  give a cup of cold water to someone who thirsts ("And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward" Matthew 10:42), but though small, they will be significant acts as indicators of character. 

How many times have you watched a young person make a face at the prospect of cleaning up a dirty kitchen and protest, "I'm not going to clean up someone else's mess. I didn't leave that dirt pile so I'm not going to clean it up." 

Then, just as you are getting ready to take an extra dose of your analgesic medicine so you can bend over enough to pick up the trash without too many shooting pains down your back, shoulders, and legs, another young person grabs a broom and and says, quite energetically, "Hey, let's go for it!"

When Jesus was asked which Commandments he thought were the most important, he said, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Then he added, "The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31). Jesus then clarifies to just whom the word neighbor applies. It's YOU.

In the Book of Ten Sayings, The Ninth Saying, 

Always forgive, including yourself.

reveals its critical importance in the philosophy of human happiness. 

+If you don't forgive others who wrong you, it is unlikely that you will ever be happy in any free and open sense. You will always have a few grudges to feed. You will be a slave to resentment. Taking the high road often leads to a cliff, and if your self-righteousness puts your nose too high in the air, you might just become airborne with a hard landing.

+If you don't forgive others, Jesus says that God won't forgive you for your sins. Note that this warning is made in the the process of teaching the Lord's Prayer, which the Lord gave to the Disciples (and hence, all the world) as a model prayer. In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus says,

Our Father, who is in heaven,
May your name be kept holy.
May your kingdom come
May  your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our debts
As we forgive our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,
For yours is the kingdom,
And the power and the glory
For ever. Amen..

Jesus clarifies one of the points in the prayer. Commenting on forgiveness, Jesus says, "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." 

+Forgiving yourself is an important concept. Too many people who nurture hostile feelings against others, based on long ago affronts or slights eventually come to think of themselves as guilty--only in part, of course--and much of their peace and quiet is steadily eroded. After all. if  it's worth nursing a lifelong grudge against the kid who wrecked your bike, what kind of guilt is deserved for  someone who stole an expensive camera years ago?

There is a saying among the thoughtful and circumspect, that regarding the offenses people take from and give to each other, the best advice for healing wounds, solving anger, and regaining peace is, "To know all is to forgive all." In other words, we are often incapable of understanding who is the victim and who is the perpetrator, or how much responsibility for the breach of peace belongs to each  person. "If you really knew what went on," these experienced observers say, "you would forgive everyone. For all are guilty."